Some of us are brought up in dysfunctional homes where we did not receive the necessary amount of care and affection as a child. Some of us are also brought up in homes where we were constantly abused emotionally. Hence, we developed the mechanism of being in the flight or fight mode for survival from childhood. Hence, when we grew up, we started facing challenged I our adult relationships. Emotional abuse and the signs of it show up in various ways. Addressing this, Therapist Allyson Kellum-Aguirre wrote, “Many people have experienced emotional abuse which makes it important to understand the signs.”
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Allyson further noted down the signs of emotional abuse that are less talked about:
Chronic guilt: We constantly feel that we are at fault. This develops when we start to blame ourselves for everything happening around us. We also fear that we are not likeable, and that’s why we are constantly apologising.
Being a doormat: We are also a doormat for others to dump their feelings and emotions on. Because we have very little sense of self, we are constantly afraid to stand up for ourselves – we think that we will be left alone then.
Second guess ourselves: We do not have any self-confidence and self-trust, and that’s why we are always in the process of doubting ourselves, and second guessing our actions.
Fear of failure: We always feel that we are going to fail. This causes intense anxiety in us.
Doubting reality: We think that we are not right – that includes our perception of reality and our narratives as well.
Difficulty articulating: Since we are not allowed to voice anything, we are always facing difficulty in articulating things.
Not good enough: We always have the feeling that we are not good enough. This makes us people pleasers and have very little or no trust in ourselves.