Every relationship has its own set of rules. From childhood, we have romanticised the idea of relationships and stereotyped it with our knowledge of romance from books, films and music. However, in reality, dreamy relationships are the ones that know how to create a safe space for the people involved and know how to embrace each other in their wholeness and honesty. We often consider a lot of habits in relationships as toxic, when they are just ways of creating better space and the idea of individuality in relationships. “A lot of healthy relationship habits get a bad reputation because of idealized romanticised narratives in literature, movies, and pop culture. We absorb them, and then apply them to our relationships. These misunderstandings prevent us from acting in these healthy ways, because we think they are wrong. This can create misunderstandings and further solidify unhealthy patterns,” Therapist Israa Nasir further explained.
Israa pointed out a few relationship habits that are considered toxic, when in reality they are healthy:
Taking space: We often mistake spending alone time in a relationship as a fight or a distance from the other person. But the truth is, in relationships or otherwise, everyone needs their space, and it helps them to figure themselves.
Having a crush: Finding someone else attractive is a natural process and is also healthy. As long as we are not being dishonest and cheating on our partner, we are allowed to admire others.
Unresolved arguments: Sometimes the best way to agree to disagree is to leave a few arguments unresolved. We can take our own time in coming back to it, or not.
Independence: Being independent and having our own set of friends is a healthy way of having a life outside the relationship. This helps in avoiding unhealthy dependence on our partner.
Finances: In healthy relationships, where two independent people are involved, it is okay to not share finances with each other and have their own privacy.
Ending it: Sometimes when things do not work out in a relationship, the healthy thing to do is to end it.